Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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