No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
