Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
