It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
