we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
