i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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