Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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