I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You're like the curious george of whores
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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