I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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