I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He felt like a one man threesome
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
