after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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