remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize