shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
