Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will be naked everywhere
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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