just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize