i jhust puked up my retainher.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
