He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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