I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
