well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
