I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
