dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize