Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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