Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
bring money and cleavage
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
