Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
