Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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