Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
