There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize