So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, beer. Big fan.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
