You're my little dorito
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
