She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
