please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
