TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
