Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
