we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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