i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
