Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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