Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
