i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
