Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
