She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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