"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
