no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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