I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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