Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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