I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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