is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize