He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
