It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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