pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
