I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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