Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
