Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
