can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Houston, we have a blender
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
