you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
