we're blogging at a bar
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize