come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
