I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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