Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
