I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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