I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
