he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
