He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize