My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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