He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
